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Ziva and the New Brother

Mom is out of her mind! She is completely insane! She has flipped her lid! Charlie Manson is freaked out by her right now! Whoever that is…Lorelai says a lot of things I don’t understand.

Last week Mom brought home a boy! Well, he was dropped off…but she kept him!

The Demons and I agree that this is a horrible decision to adopt another child. She just will not listen to reason! Even Dad has become a traitor, falling for this “Leo” and his sweet and snuggly ways. He is the Devil, I swear it!

She keeps reminding me I eventually warmed up to Sunny and Star and the same will happen here…I think she belongs in an institution.

Maybe Uhlaskuh will take Leo, too….

Ziva vs Bieber

Mommy mock-sang that Bee-bur “Baby” song at me. So, now I am sitting at the big window with her tablet writing this post. At the time, I threw her some shade and said, “Mom. No. I don’t do Bee-burs. If you bought me a Bee-bur doll, I would pee on it and tell you to send it to Canada with a note that said, ‘Thanks. Hash tag no thanks. I’d like to return this fake for another Avril or Celine.’ And then I would tell them to take him back. He is their responsibility, so kindly send him somewhere he will never be found. Like the North Pole. But not the one with Santa. I’d get a lump of coal! And then I would ask you for another so I could do the same, but this time send it to Usher with a note that says, ‘WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!'”

———

My cat throws verbose shade.

Ziva and the Tub Toys

My daddy is the best!

He put my purple ball that rattles in the tub today. He hasn’t done that in forever! I do not know why he ever stopped! I do not understand why my taking it out means he does not put it back in the tub later. Human brains are so strange.

I love playing with those toys in the tub! It is excellence, indeed!

He threw my duck in the tub, too. I’m not so certain what I am supposed to do with the duck in the tub….

He has been playing with me more lately. I sense a fowl plot afoot…something to do with this “dye-et and ekz-your-size” I suspect…but he is playing with me, so could it really be that bad?

Ziva and the Lady Bug

Found my friend again! He woke me up to play. Mom says his name is Laydee-bug. Mom also says it’s past her bed-time though, so I can’t play with him tonight. *sigh* Last time I saw my friend was before the weentar started and the snow came. I hope I don’t have to wait that long to see him again!

Ziva, the Demons, and Spring

Mom tried to kill us today. She put harnesses on all three of us, and tried to take us all into the out! She kept telling me I used to like to go into the out…but I do not recall ever enjoying being in the out! Let me tell you that there is a difference between walking out the door when we lived in that basement thing, and walking out the door here! I do not like going into the out! I don’t know what it is…but there is!

The Quiet One managed to escape before we actually got into the out. The Little Loud One and I, however, did not. We tried! But we failed. So, we screamed our heads off like there was no tomorrow! I was certain one of the neighbor peasants would here us and tell Mom to take us back into the in. That did not happen, though.

Then, she gave up with The Little Quiet One. She let her go back into the in, but was determined to make me remember! I prevailed! She tried to tell me I like chewing the grass, but I wasn’t having any of it! Finally, she took me back as well.

She decided a good compromise was to open the windows so we could appreciate the scents and sounds from the out. Now, I am sitting in the window sill, contemplating a nice nap. I think my heart has calmed down enough after Mom’s attempts, and the fan being blown off the table….

On a side note…I think they are trying to starve me. When the demons go to the dungeon, and I am given free reign of the castle, their food dishes are missing! Only mine remains attainable! I am positive they are hiding the food in the kitchen cupboards…if only I could figure out how to open the doors…especially without that psychic mother of mine finding out!

Ziva and the Thunderstorm

The Demons are here.

On my bed.

The thunderstorm woke me up. Mom says I sprang three feet in the air from my solid, passed out, hugging her arm position…but there they are.

On my bed.

Like they were the ones who were traumatically affected by the storm of evil. The two of them are cold, heartless killers! Like the largest thunderclap of my life could really affect them one iota!

Ziva Dislikes Weekend Mornings

Dad locked me out of the bedroom again! He seems to think that when he is awake, and Mom is asleep, I shouldn’t be in with Mom! He says I spend too much time annoying her, and it keeps her from sleeping.

I do not annoy Mom! I love Mom! I must be there with her! Snuggles! I only paw on the wall to get her attention….

I’ve tried ~~everything I can think of!~~ everything I can get my paws on! Pawing on the door, crying for Mom, going back and yelling at Dad (though the headset may be masking my screams), reaching for the door k’nob….

Yet here I am. Still pitifully sitting outside the door, away from Mom.

I’d get some dy-no-might or something to put a hole in the door (ohhh…kitty door in bedroom door!) but those items are not available at this time. Batcat needs a utility belt and some of Batman’s spare gadgets!

I’ve even tried using the force!

Sadly, I seem to be lacking in that area. The Jedi would never take me on anyway. In cat years, I am too old, and I loves mah mah-mah….

On that same train of thought, I’m obviously not a mutant, and thus could never be a part of the X-men. I tried moving the metal with my Magneto-like skills…that was a failure. Obviously, I’m not a metal-bender either.

Then again, I’m not sure the door k’nob is metal. In which case, I obviously cannot move whatever material it is made out of.

I could go all Wolverine and shred the door…but I’m trying to make Mom think my claws don’t need trimmed…shhhhh.

I am also not an air-bender. I’ve blown and blown on the door, but nothing.

I even tried saying the magic word! But, obviously the door doesn’t speak cat….

This problem has led me to realize my sonic screwdriver is only a toy…or that it not only doesn’t do wood, it doesn’t do whatever material the k’nob is made out of. Or I simply am using it wrong. Perhaps it is the latter.

DAD OPENED THE DOOR!

MOM!!!

Ziva and Qui Gon Jinn

Qui Gon Jinn and Darth Maul

This, ladies and gent-eel-min, is essentially my life…every day.

Fortunately, Mom and Dad keep what happened to Qui Gon from happening to me….

Ziva Update

As you can see, there was quite a large gap of time between the last post, and this one. What can I say? I’ve been busy!!! I’m Batcat, afterall!

I live in a Castle. Yes, this one is a Castle. The last one was more like a cottage. How was I supposed to know otherwise though?

Mom married Bow-tie, who I now call “Dad,” and now we all live here! And when I say all, I include the Demons in that. Mom says they are my sisters…even by birth. They don’t treat me like a sister…more like step-sisters. The evil kind!

We function on a daily cycle where they get the house during the day, and I get to snuggle down on the waterbed in my bedroom, but when Mom and Dad say it’s bed time, they go to the dungeon, (Mom says it’s actually a pretty nice, carpeted room with blankets and a couch, but I like to believe it’s the dungeon), and I get the whole house to myself.

Though, between you and me…I spend most of it curled up on the bed between Mom and Dad.

Life isn’t perfect, but I’m happy.

It’s winter right now. I think? Mother Nature can’t seem to make up her mind if it’s winter or not. It keeps snowing like it’s a blizzard, and then melting in 60 degree weather two days later.

Mom is still working on prettying up the website, so…sorry if it looks funny.

Welcome to the new blog!

Ziva takes on…Siblings

Mom and Bowtie brought two orange pains in my side a couple months ago. Sunny and Star. I liked them well enough. Star was nice and quiet and didn’t move too much. Sunny took more energy to keep from driving Mom and Bowtie crazy.

I miss them.

They brought home my “sisters” about a week before Sunny and Star went to their parental unit in some place called “Uh-la-skuh”. I think they were attempting to replace the boys with the Little Loud One and the Quiet One. But I’m on to them. I remember these two devils. Ohhh do I remember them!

The Little Loud One has already attempted to take over my rule. Mom has remained nearly neutral in the matter, however. She makes me act like a lady, but chases the Little Loud One away if she starts a fight…which of course I NEVER do! Because of her, we’re not all allowed in the main portion of the house when Mom and Bowtie are gone or Bowtie is asleep. That’s when her insistence to fight seems to pick up. When Bowtie is sleeping.

I’m not sure how I feel about The Quiet One though. She’s sort of…too quiet. She slinks around the castle, keeping to the shadows. I fear she is up to no good. Mom may have been fooled by her act of innocence but I am yet to be swayed!

Further study is needed to see if these too familiar punks are allowed to remain in my presence. Though, Mom says I just have to deal with it, because they’re not going back whether I like it or not. * sigh *

I miss Sunny.

I wonder how goes his task of conquering the lands of Uhlaskuh for me. Should have told Mom to make him a coat. I hear it’s cold there.

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So, Ziva does appear to miss the boys. She’s a bit more cuddly and a bit more in want of attention. Almost a bit more than she did before. She does NOT like that Ari and Rivkin are here, one bit. They are progressing fairly well though I think. They tolerate each other for a little while. Ziva is actually appearing to be the more curious one, when she’s not growling and guarding her territory. Ari drew blood the other day, and there is the occasional squall. But, it’s not too bad. I think there is progress. At the very least, I think we have things figured out enough to manage things till they tolerate enough to coexist without having to separate them at night and when there are no adults in the house.

I have heard about the boys. They are doing well. 🙂 I do miss the cuddle sessions with Star. Such a sweetie!